English as a Second Language

Having traveled a fair amount in Asia I always get a smile out of some of the translations, I saw this and felt the need to share. Too funny. I'm so glad English is my first (and sadly only) language, I can't image what it must be like to have to learn it!

Drop your trousers here for best results.
-- In a Bangkok dry cleaner's.

For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
-- In a Hong Kong supermarket

It is not allow in the hotel room for guest participating in Illicit Arts, banging of firecrackers, gambling and wrestling.
-- Hotel Jincheng (Shenyang, China)

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
-- In a Norwegian cocktail lounge.

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
-- Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop.

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
-- In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
-- On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant

Please leave your values at the front desk.
-- In a Paris Hotel Elevator

Please to bathe inside the tub.
-- In a Japanese Hotel Room

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
-- In a Yugoslavian Hotel

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
-- In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby