Thursday, April 14, 2011

Wines for the Ressurrection by September

Today I got a September Wine Store update in my mail box. September is my favorite local wine store and by far the best wine store on the Lower East Side.

I have to admit I usually glance over these and push delete, this one, however, really sucked me in so I thought I would share it with you. Obviously in addition to loving wine one of the staff at September is also a budding writer. 

September Logo

S E P T E M B E R   S I X   P A C K


Sideways    

CELEBRATE THE RESURRECTION   

Contrary to what you might think about these write ups, I do have to dial things down quite a bit to get approval. So maybe some of my past write-ups about trannies, hot ass traffic cops, and how Pineau d'Aunis is like the best bong hit pairing ever have rubbed some of the more traditional wine drinkers the wrong way. Fair enough. We're gonna dial it back a bit and focus on a proper noble and reliable grape for this edition of the September Six Pack. We'll just go with Merlot... you big babies. 

What? You think you don't like Merlot? I'll bet the rent it's because that really pissed off actor said he wasn't drinking Merlot in that Sideways movie you saw with your ex. Well, we can't be too mad at you. They probably spent at least $10 million to get that idea out there (and the breakup probably cost you plenty, too). Meanwhile, our Gamay PR budget tops out at $100 a month. No wonder you haven't been able to relate.
             
But now you're just like the rest of us. Living in a tiny broken-down shitbox on Ludlow, Orchard, Rivington, Clinton or wherever. Never thought you'd be this lowdown? Neither did Merlot. Not too long ago it was supreme ruler of the planet of the grapes. This six is the Mick to your once-great broke-down one-time champion Rocky Balboa ass. Springtime is when all the religious folk break out the spades and dig up the dead and we're resurrecting a few bottles of a long dead all-star too.
              
Everybody loves a comeback story. Even if the defeat was brought about by some bullshit movie that had everything to do with yuppie midlife crises that happened to take place in Sonoma. Sorry Myles, this week we're definitely drinking "fucking" Merlot.


2009 Charles Smith 'The Velvet Devil' Merlot Columbia Valley, Washington  Merlot, what the hell you doing all the way out in the Pacific Northwest? And what's up with that crazy ass label you got on? Oh I get it, there's some kind of rebellious thing going on here. It's cool, everyone's entitled to a makeover every now and again. Do you. We won't hate.

2007 Hansom Merlot Sonoma County, California  Now that's what I'm talking about!  A very staid and dignified name for a wine.  And now that I think about it, Merlot is a rather good looking grape. Very fitting. What's that? It's "Hansom", not "handsome"? Like those tourist trap horse drawn carts in Central Park?  What the hell does that have to do with wine? Ok, it's the kind of delicious and easy drinking red I'd like to have on hand for a ride in one of those. Oh wait, now I get it -- it's an excuse for them to put an animal on the label. Genius!

NV Shinn Estate Red Long Island's North Fork, New York  How can you guys not love Merlot? At heart, it's just another small town underdog who heard that Sinatra song and decided to take a leap and have a go of it in Old New York. Just like all of the rest of us. Ok, so basking in the sun out on the North Fork isn't exactly the same as throwing down in the belly of the beast. But let's not burst the kid's bubble; he's doing great out there. And I guess technically Long Island is really just eastern Queens...

2008 Lotus Merlot California  Merlot has picked up a lot of pomp and polish along its travels, so it's nice to see it return to simple down home from outside of its hometown. Lodi, CA is muddy boots over tailored suits all day and the important numbers here have a dollar sign in front as opposed to a snooty wine writer behind. Straightforward and simple -- two things typically in painfully short supply in the wine world.

2007 David Reynaud Merlot Rhone Valley, France  Growers who stay up late at night plotting on ways to get all up in investment bankers' pockets inevitably wind up putting Merlot into their bag of tricks. Just ask the Super Tuscans, the Garagistes of Bordeaux, or the Meritage hucksters on the west coast. But sometimes the choice isn't all as crass as that. David Reynaud already gets the wallets poppin' open with his stunning Crozes-Hermitage Syrah, so why would he choose to plant Merlot in a far Northern Rhone backwater that Parker isn't ever going to visit? Could it be that he simply likes it? Or that Merlot grown in cooler climates like the northern Rhone is spry, smoky, minerally and delicious? No, it couldn't be that simple. There must be a greater conspiracy here. We'll get to the bottom of this. Right after we get to the bottom of the bottle. And maybe a second one for the road.

2007 La Sacristie de la Vielle Cure Fronsac Bordeaux, France  Merlot has had quite a ride. It's traveled the world, gotten rich and fat living the rock star life in California, Italy, and Spain. But then Pinot came along and snatched the spotlight, and Merlot just totally lost it. It started hanging around with sleazy investment bankers and their high paid chemist winemakers, getting all over-extracted and sloppy. But before the fame, Merlot meant lean, rustic and earthy wines from Bordeaux that were more at home on the rough-hewn farm table than atop the white linen. Come on back home, Merlot. Take off the full-length fur coat, sell the gold Rolls and erase Michel Rolland's number from your contacts forever. You were beautiful just the way you were.


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